In 1992, I married my first wife. She was an amazing woman with whom I was madly in love. After being married for a few years, I started seeing the number 420 everywhere I went. I would look at a clock, and it would say 4:20. It didn't matter that it was 9:00—the clock said 4:20. I would see 420 everywhere. Bulletin boards and numbers on a whiteboard: I am telling you that I saw 420 all the time. I was convinced that God was speaking to me, so as any good God-fearing person would do, I started looking up verses in the bible that had anything to do with 4:20. Here are some of those verses -
Romans 4:20
Those are GREAT verses, but none of those were what God was speaking to me about or, as I would find out, was preparing me for. So, for years, I kept seeing 420. This was not a secret; my wife knew I saw 420. Many friends knew I saw 420, but after years, the wonder of seeing those numbers just kinda passed. I kept seeing 420, but I decided when it was meant to be known, I would know. Fast forward to September 25th,2008, my wife has just passed away from multiple sclerosis. She had been sick for years and utterly bed-bound since 2006. Obviously, it was a horrible, traumatic event for our whole family, but now, as a single dad, I had to figure out what life moving forward looked like for my children and me. There were a lot of questions about where we would live and what job I would get that would allow me to be a single dad, not to mention whether I would remarry. We all have questions and can call on our past or others' experiences to help us answer those questions. After my wife died, I had many questions.
My Grandfather's first wife had also passed away, and he remarried. It was a disaster. His children did not get along with her. Her kids did not get along with him, and it was very disruptive to our family. I didn't want to make that same mistake, so I knew that going forward, no matter how lonely I felt, how overwhelmed I could be, or how much I wanted a companion, that could not be the driving force behind establishing a new relationship. For five years, I was a single dad, and honestly, I was all of the things I just mentioned, but after five years of being a single dad, a beautiful, brilliant woman in our church caught my eye; her name was Elisabeth. Elisabeth and I started talking, and in a very short time, we had our first date; maybe it was our second, but either way, we started dating. She had previously been married, and both of us understood the circumstances in which we were dating. We both had children and wanted this to be right for ourselves and our kids. We both felt the risks were high but also worth it, maybe. So, she vetted me, and I vetted her. We both talked to our friends and each other's friends and gathered as much information as possible. We both felt comfortable proceeding with at least a date.
I had made reservations at a great restaurant, and we went out for dinner. Because of all the things I just said, I wanted to get this right. I needed to know if Elisabeth was right for me, and she needed to see if I was right for her. We both came to dinner with a list. Things I needed to check off and things she needed to check off. So, after ordering, we both proceeded. I had questions, and she had questions. I said, "Let's start with the easy ones: when is your birthday?" I can assure you I was not ready for the answer. 420 was her answer. I stared at her for a moment, grasping what she had just shared. "Your birthday is April 20th?" She said, "Yes." As soon as she said yes, I heard the voice of the Lord say to me, "Now you know why." I was stunned. She knew I was stunned, leading to many conversations and getting married after two short months. That was eleven years ago. I love Elisabeth with all my heart. She was exactly what I needed and what my kids needed. Like any couple or family, we have had our share of problems, but Elisabeth was precisely who I needed going forward.
Understand this: a decade before my first wife had died, the Lord had given me an answer to a problem I didn't even know existed. When I first started seeing 420, my first wife was healthy. We had a good marriage, and we had a good life. Neither one of us had any idea how sick she was going to become, and we certainly didn't know she was going to die seventeen years into our marriage. He knew what was going to happen. I believe God stands outside of time. Why? How? If God is God and the definition of God is one who created all things and is in all things, that nothing can exist without Him, then God created time, and time as a creation cannot contain God; therefore, God stands outside of time. I don't have time (pun intended) to unpack that, but maybe in a later post. If God does indeed stand outside of time, then knowing what my future looks like, He began dropping hints, 420, to prepare me for Elisabeth.
God has an answer! He always has an answer. The problem is that most of us have not been taught to hear His voice and what we should do with it when we do hear it. I knew that God was speaking to me when I kept seeing 420. It became obvious to all of us that He was speaking to me. I just had no idea what He was saying. Whatever you are going through, let me assure you that God has an answer. Listen to His voice; I promise you it is there. Look for answers; often, an answer comes in a sign, not a voice. Remember what He says. Write it down because sometimes He is giving us answers to questions that are still a decade or more away. Listen, look, and remember. You do your job. I promise you He is doing His.
Romans 4:20
- "Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God".
- "If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen".
- In this verse, Jesus calls Simon Peter and Andrew to follow him as "fishers of men" after they have encountered him while he is preaching in Galilee.
- "Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown."
Those are GREAT verses, but none of those were what God was speaking to me about or, as I would find out, was preparing me for. So, for years, I kept seeing 420. This was not a secret; my wife knew I saw 420. Many friends knew I saw 420, but after years, the wonder of seeing those numbers just kinda passed. I kept seeing 420, but I decided when it was meant to be known, I would know. Fast forward to September 25th,2008, my wife has just passed away from multiple sclerosis. She had been sick for years and utterly bed-bound since 2006. Obviously, it was a horrible, traumatic event for our whole family, but now, as a single dad, I had to figure out what life moving forward looked like for my children and me. There were a lot of questions about where we would live and what job I would get that would allow me to be a single dad, not to mention whether I would remarry. We all have questions and can call on our past or others' experiences to help us answer those questions. After my wife died, I had many questions.
My Grandfather's first wife had also passed away, and he remarried. It was a disaster. His children did not get along with her. Her kids did not get along with him, and it was very disruptive to our family. I didn't want to make that same mistake, so I knew that going forward, no matter how lonely I felt, how overwhelmed I could be, or how much I wanted a companion, that could not be the driving force behind establishing a new relationship. For five years, I was a single dad, and honestly, I was all of the things I just mentioned, but after five years of being a single dad, a beautiful, brilliant woman in our church caught my eye; her name was Elisabeth. Elisabeth and I started talking, and in a very short time, we had our first date; maybe it was our second, but either way, we started dating. She had previously been married, and both of us understood the circumstances in which we were dating. We both had children and wanted this to be right for ourselves and our kids. We both felt the risks were high but also worth it, maybe. So, she vetted me, and I vetted her. We both talked to our friends and each other's friends and gathered as much information as possible. We both felt comfortable proceeding with at least a date.
I had made reservations at a great restaurant, and we went out for dinner. Because of all the things I just said, I wanted to get this right. I needed to know if Elisabeth was right for me, and she needed to see if I was right for her. We both came to dinner with a list. Things I needed to check off and things she needed to check off. So, after ordering, we both proceeded. I had questions, and she had questions. I said, "Let's start with the easy ones: when is your birthday?" I can assure you I was not ready for the answer. 420 was her answer. I stared at her for a moment, grasping what she had just shared. "Your birthday is April 20th?" She said, "Yes." As soon as she said yes, I heard the voice of the Lord say to me, "Now you know why." I was stunned. She knew I was stunned, leading to many conversations and getting married after two short months. That was eleven years ago. I love Elisabeth with all my heart. She was exactly what I needed and what my kids needed. Like any couple or family, we have had our share of problems, but Elisabeth was precisely who I needed going forward.
Understand this: a decade before my first wife had died, the Lord had given me an answer to a problem I didn't even know existed. When I first started seeing 420, my first wife was healthy. We had a good marriage, and we had a good life. Neither one of us had any idea how sick she was going to become, and we certainly didn't know she was going to die seventeen years into our marriage. He knew what was going to happen. I believe God stands outside of time. Why? How? If God is God and the definition of God is one who created all things and is in all things, that nothing can exist without Him, then God created time, and time as a creation cannot contain God; therefore, God stands outside of time. I don't have time (pun intended) to unpack that, but maybe in a later post. If God does indeed stand outside of time, then knowing what my future looks like, He began dropping hints, 420, to prepare me for Elisabeth.
God has an answer! He always has an answer. The problem is that most of us have not been taught to hear His voice and what we should do with it when we do hear it. I knew that God was speaking to me when I kept seeing 420. It became obvious to all of us that He was speaking to me. I just had no idea what He was saying. Whatever you are going through, let me assure you that God has an answer. Listen to His voice; I promise you it is there. Look for answers; often, an answer comes in a sign, not a voice. Remember what He says. Write it down because sometimes He is giving us answers to questions that are still a decade or more away. Listen, look, and remember. You do your job. I promise you He is doing His.
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